Going All In: What Reconciliation Has Taught Me About Leadership, Identity and Connection
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised this article contains the names and photos of people who have passed away.
Everyone has a story.
When we take the time to listen - not to respond, but to truly understand; we discover stories are far more than moments in time. Stories shape our identity, influence our values and determine how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and ultimately, how we choose to lead.
For me, reconciliation has never been a national initiative.
It has always been deeply personal.
I was born on Dharug Country and have ancestral connections to Wakka Wakka and Kullilli Country.
Raised outside of community and shaped by the intergenerational impact of the Stolen Generations, my journey has been one of understanding who I am beyond the complexity of perception, assumptions and unconscious bias.
Like many Aboriginal families, my story stretches across generations.
My great-grandmother was removed from her family as a young child. My grandmother experienced separation from her mother and culture. My own mother was raised away from her family, and when I was born, I too was immediately removed from my mother's care through the forced adoption practices of the time.
These experiences form part of our family history.
They are not stories of blame, nor are they stories of shame.
They are stories of resilience, courage, reconciliation and determination.
Stories that remind me of the extraordinary strength of the women who came before me.
Over time, I've come to understand that reconciliation is not about revisiting the past. It is about understanding it, embracing it and valuing it. It is about restoring connection where connection was lost.
It is about recognising the dignity and value that exists in every one of us.
Most importantly, it is about listening.
One of the greatest gifts reconciliation has given me is the relationship I share with my mother, and our partnership as leaders working together to create new futures for our family, our communities and the world.
Through her determination to reconnect our family with culture, community and Country, she helped restore something that had been fractured across generations.
Her work as Australia's first Indigenous CPA, her commitment to Indigenous education and financial literacy, and her tireless contribution to community have shaped not only our family's future, but the futures of many others.
In many ways, we found ourselves walking parallel paths. Different experiences, different journeys with a shared commitment to education, leadership and creating opportunities for others. That is what reconciliation has come to mean for me.
It's not a destination. Nor is it simply a good thing to do. It is a practice, a daily choice to listen deeply - to understand before being understood, to remain curious about experiences different from our own and to create space for people to feel seen, heard and valued.
This year's call to action for National Reconciliation Week invites us to go All In.
To me, that's more than showing support, it means actively participating, moving beyond awareness into action, having the courage to listen to stories that may challenge our assumptions, and recognising that reconciliation is not solely the responsibility of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, it belongs to all of us.
Reconciliation is ultimately about relationships and every meaningful relationship begins with understanding.
As a leadership coach and facilitator, I often say that performance is not where leadership begins, performance is where leadership ends. Leadership begins with connection - connection to the stories that shape us, connection to the stories that shape others, connection to our individual and shared purpose.
I truly believe the leaders who will have the greatest impact in the future will not be those with the most experience, it will be those willing to listen deeply enough to understand perspectives beyond their own.
When we listen deeply, we build trust. When we build trust, we strengthen relationships and when our relationships strengthen, possibilities emerge that were never available through division alone.
National Reconciliation Week reminds us that every person carries a story and within those stories are values of resilience, care, respect, responsibility and belonging.
When we connect to those values, we begin to see one another more clearly. We create stronger relationships. We create stronger communities. We create stronger cultures within, and around, our organisations and together, we create a future where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
This week, I invite you to reflect:
What does reconciliation mean to you?
What story has shaped the values that are most important to who you are and how you show up?
What would be possible if we go “All In” on listening to understand, walking alongside one another to create new futures - what future do you see possible?
Kylee Stone is the Founder & CEO of The Performance Code with a reputation for working with some of the most successful, high-performing organisational leaders as a Brand Builder, Growth Strategist, Coach & Facilitator specialising in leadership transformation - aligning strategy, people and performance on purpose.
She’s an Aboriginal woman with ancestral connections to the Kulluli and Wakka Wakka First Nations Peoples and over 25 years’ experience in leadership grounded in Indigenous ways of knowing, being and doing.
A highly engaging facilitator, keynote speaker and transformational leadership coach, Kylee’s mission is to unlock the hidden potential of 1M emerging leaders - her purpose, to create an environment where leaders are inspired, connected and thriving!
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